little nurse hat

Alright. 

I did this.

Scarlett, RN

I HAD NO CHOICE.

I am on drugs. 

Stuck on a couch. 

and I saw some paper and a marker

 in reaching distance.

It was clear to me. I had to make it.

LOOK AT HER.

Tell me I did something wrong. 

You cant.

I would like to thank her for making this post-surgery situation slightly bearable. 

It has been a painful week.

and she has been a rock star. 

So I gave her a hat. 

She deserved it.

I mean. that's what contemporary nurses wear... I know. 
Don't worry, I am currently sewing her a pair of scrubs and hand making a retractable badge.

_____________________________________________________

Pow ! (i heard it)

THIS WAS MY 4th OF JULY.

and I kid NOT.

I sort of think I aced it. in retrospect.

and this picture is strangely spot on.

You just have to rock whatever situation you are in.

__________________________

The story actually begins a week earlier. 

On my birthday.

for real.

My birthday.

When

no, OK. 

Ok. Ok.

for absolutely real:

The bases were loaded.

I ran to first base as hard as I could.

and made a final leap to beat the throw.

pssst... I was safe. 

I actually remember thinking YAY. 

and immediately/simultaneously thinking I was shot in the leg at close range.

The reality is that I landed with everything I had on my left foot. heard my leg crunch twice. and heard a loud pop.

at Least one. It was gross.

I say I landed on my left foot, but honestly I went straight to the ground against my will
"I broke my leg. I broke my leg. I know it."

(did I mention this was kickball?)

_________________________________________________________________

I sort of wanted to pass out or something and then I heard the medic say : ACL

when I hear that someone tore their ACL I think of the guy in my high school gym class who sat out for nearly a year with a giant brace on.

or that other guy in my freshman English class in college.
(I have NO idea what happened to him, it was obviously something awful, but in that moment on the ground I decided it was his ACL and I was more depressed. That guy had to start college on crutches. for the love.)

and the ugly truth set in when a doctor on the other team came over and said the same 3 letters. 

Ughhh.

Apparently it is very easy to tell that you tore your ACL
if someone is able to move your leg a certain way. 

AHHAHA.

the horror.

________________________________________________________________



if you can't tell what is going on here:

this is what happens when you say,  ACTUALLY EVERYONE.

We are still going out for my birthday.

and your friends carry you.

________________________________________________________________

So the last two weeks have been a little frustrating/ ew
 but while I haven't been posting on here. (lame. i know. terrible)

I have been absorbing a lot of inspiration.

Like this:

I mean. They ask you if you are claustrophobic before you have an MRI.

(note- I have had more than one. so I know this question is no joke.)

I think they should ask you that AFTER. 

Because they would notice a trend. 

"No. I'm not. I do just fine in tight spaces and....

....HOLY CRAP ACTUALLY NOW YES I AM."

I will take the stairs forever now. thanks.

________________

Newsflash.
Appointments seem more hilarious or tolerable if you take your friends.

and also.

if they secretly document your struggles.

I was singing - "I'm never gonna dance again..."

no seriously. I was.

My sister sent me this picture with the subject line - Learning to walk.


_________________________

and

this also happened.



__________________________________


I'm that injured person that keeps on doing everything.

while I know that sometimes it is ridiculous.


___________________________________



But I mean...

this:

and. we couldn't stop.

and for the sake of the arts.


We call this one-

Cheese Tray.

This was really funny.
Until it became progressively less funny.




_____________________



you have to try and embrace why something like this happens.
to be able to stomach the unexpected.

Except there is no real WHY. 

It is more like embracing the NOW.

______________________

But there is so much to learn from here. 

so I am going to.

and there will be an ACL Series. 

It will look like the Carousel Series

and the Circus Series.

but on pain meds. 

 already, this injury has shown me how good my friends are.

They. are. good.


and even sweet strangers.


Like the "Oh Good God!" lady in CVS. She just said that as she walked by and glanced at my leg. never looked me in the eye or anything. it was sort of awesome.

and somehow comforting.



I thought, she gets me.



but so do the students at the arts camp where I am teaching.


This morning they all asked if I was scared to have surgery.
and if I was hurting.
and how long I need to wear my brace.
and on a scale from 1 to 10, how is my pain.



and then bam-

I love kids.








I am trying not to think about it either dude.

and

Sorry about your bug bites.


____________________________