October 10, 2017

The far side of the sea, even there.



The far side of the sea, even there. 






24" x 24"
oil on canvas
$950
available.





















is there such a thing as waiting fiercely?

I think it's called hope.



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September 28, 2017

pumpkins and lights.






















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Focusing on home and making things feel warm is part of being able to focus outside of home 
on things that feel less warm. 

I realize that there are places that feel unsafe or unloving or not equal, and I am digesting a lot of the NFL kneeling, the way our leader talks to other world leaders, the hurricanes and earthquakes. 

It feels unfair and weird to buy pumpkins and feel good about things. But I have learned a few ideas that help. 



1- it is possible to have many different feelings at once. my sister preaches this. 

2- it is important to fill up on good and wonderful things. 
And. 

3- it is possible to DO something. So I will keep working on what that looks like too. 



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June 27, 2017

Oh, the present.





I am on this artistic pursuit.  

It feels very important to me. and It feels like I am very responsible for so much. 

I think we all are. responsible for one another. 

for making things better. 

That is why I write and it is how I live. 

And often it means I am thinking about where I have been. And where I am trying to get. 




I never want to stop recording and loving yesterday. 
and I never want to stop throwing hope in the direction of my future. 


But man. I am really sitting in the lesson that is the present. 









Today my garden has new blooms that it didn't have yesterday. 

and that it will not have for too long. 

Unless they are my hydrangeas cause those are exploding.  and I can virtually hide in them. 
ok. I actually can get in them and hide. 

and have. 





Tonight I am in clean sheets and I have a cold. and I stayed up too late thinking about things. and I just finished ice-cream with sprinkles.

 and all of those specific things make right now very different from all other times. 

HERES TO RIGHT NOW! 

Because we have it. 


and because it probably is teaching us something. 



I am working on patience. so for me. thats probably it.

BUT I HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT TOMORROW AT LEAST 12 TIMES SINCE I STARTED WRITING THIS. 

it is in my blood. 

A-



I think sitting in the present is a huge part of learning to trust. 
and learning to rest in truth. 

So I am going to focus on those things. 


...after I listen to a few more songs and think about how sweet it is that the world all goes to sleep at night when things get quiet. 




I mean really. 

The present has so many glorious little parts. 

I will find more now.

and more, tomorrow.












June 14, 2017

banana crown.



So the past few months I have been swimming in LIVE ART work. and the show just happened. 

I am so exhausted and also very full. 

The show was wonderful and I will write more about that for sure. soon.



But, I have simultaneously been working on other things. finishing school. experiencing challenges. and crawling forward. Things are busy and it is great. but only because we choose to feel the victories. 


I choose. to.





May 7, 2017

And the wild bird whispered, "Hold tight."









And the wild bird whispered, "Hold tight."
2' x 2' Oil on Canvas
$1100



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I don't know what the most important thing is. 



*Shrug*


I thought I did. 


I maybe do. 


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Things happen all the time 

that shatter what I think I know. 




I am constantly forced to collect my thoughts, pull them apart, throw them around the room, and sweep them back together into something that looks less like a mess and that makes me feel like 
I accomplished something big.





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There are times in my life when I am super aware that there are only twenty four hours in a day. 
Now is one of them. 

I am incredibly busy, but with good.



and I do know certain things to be very true: 


there is a bird in my chimney. 
plastic bins cannot be chairs. falling into one hurts a decent amount.


and coffee right before exercising is a danger. 

But so too are bees. 


One flew into my face and then landed on the sidewalk. The bee died on my face. 

And with that. I close.







March 13, 2017

little lambs



Ok lets talk themes. 

recently for me- 

peace. 

recently for a lot of us. 


and so that is what I am painting and thinking about.









I painted this while watching The White Helmets. 

a documentary about the Syrian War and a group of people who decide their mission is to rescue the injured. 
no matter who they are. 




It is so unreal how much darkness people experience in this world. 
--------------------------------
that we cannot even go there in our minds and hearts.


Sometimes it is hard to process. but important that we try.



It is important to teach others to try. 
especially children.


because they have to grow up believing they have power to do great things. 






We need to be able to know hurt in order to know healing. 
and to see that the pain our neighbor feels is also our pain.






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breath.

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To transition. 

I will move onto this sleepy little guy. 


he was on the job. or mostly off the job at my mural project earlier last month. 





The mural is for twin boys. 











Their great grandmother loved lambs. 

and these lambs signify her presence with them.








the owner of this mural happens to trust me highly and just said- 

lambs, go. 


so this is what they got. 

















The sweet boys were born very recently too.
joy to the world. x 2.


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 Lastly, 

niece facetime. she found the crown and put it on for laughs. 

She is a walking heart.

the world appreciates her. 






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January 19, 2017

break.



I was silent for the entire month of December. 

I think it was a mix of things.  Some bad. Some good.







quiet.

focus.

act.







Because of my adventure into the world of sign language interpreting, I have been focusing.
Which is great and needed but also that shift is challenging and the boat theoretically leans to one side so there is some new arranging that needs to happen.
I am doing that. 


Lots of things are moving around. in all different parts of my life. And that is uncomfortable.

I am eating my own medicine about how amazing it is to be uncomfortable and taking leaps and how change is woohoo.



I stand by that. I do. I never said it was easy or painless.
I am just trying to listen to myself about it. and not combust.




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The election results. the change in our country's leadership. that silenced me for a bit.
I did not want it to do that...

but I looked away.


I saw things on the TVs in the gym locker room because there are news stations on in there and I realized my facial expressions were uncontrollable. and visible to all.
 so I walk quickly by them now.

Speaking of which. I workout a good amount because I thought-
physically I can do things so I should.
Kind of like... I am training. for what I do not know. But it is probably something great. and I wanted to feel other things. Not just challenging emotions. 

I travel a lot. especially to New York where my niece is. I needed her a lot lately/in my life.
She represents that the world is ok. And promises and happiness and kindness.


and unconditional love.
she's not going anywhere.

She adores. the world. her people. all the good stuff.



I saw a lot of my family in December between traveling and Christmas so that also consumed my attention. Good. 



Sometimes instagram (@goodmorninggoblins ) is easier than anything because it is a picture and I can be done. Also it feels easier when I am not sure what to say and pictures come more easily.

and when there is real turmoil.
I turn to light. and strength. And I found a lot of both there.
in family. and on instagram.

yes on instagram...probably because I follow great people. and when my own life is challenging- I need to see a bigger perspective.
I follow inspiring people. and people who suffer or press onward despite challenge.


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I realize how important what we do is. 

Artists. 


And that is not a limiting title. It is inclusive. 

The arts, they include. 

If there is a feeling of exclusion it is something else entirely.


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Today a student looked up at me and asked with innocent little eyes,




"what is a racist?"




She asked me this in our class of creative expression and exploration. in our class that focuses on empowering one another through learning theater arts skills. and creative problem solving. and dancing. and caring.
it is in the curriculum... formally. the caring part.

it is an inclusive environment. lots of special needs and all special. all needing.

and



I realized that the arts call us to answer questions.
the world does, yes.




and here I was in this place that MATTERED.



Here, I hope I said the right thing. but I am not this child's only teacher. so many people and events will teach her the answer to this question. I only hope I was a part of her learning something important.

I tapped another teacher  sitting next to me so she would hear what I said. I wanted her ears on it too. so that we were both part of this.


I said- it is called being a racist when someone decides things about you just because of how you look or where you are from or how you were born... and they do not look on your inside when they decide things about you.


They do not learn about you.


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I like to think artists are responsible for teaching other people about their own insides.
It is amazing because we think, as artists, that we are speaking about ourselves.
and while we are, human beings are so alike that we cannot peel off the connection to one another. and what we express is also very true about another human being.

in class we teach students how much their feelings and emotions and actions matter.
we talk about how much power there is inside them.



Art does that. It reminds us of the power in ourselves.





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i love music. almost more than everything.