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and in related things:
It is exhausting to exist in both reality and an alternate universe where making things is real and you feel impassioned to work on making possible into actual.
Occasionally I will vent about my life and career choice and before I can finish the sentence I end it with- And I am lucky and I know it.
add rainbows and little fairies with glitter wings.
But sometimes I want to leave the happy closing remark off and be mad for a second that I wasnt in love with accounting or wildly attracted to computer programming.
because those things have health insurance and paid vacation.
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I am not naive.
I am not clueless.
I am not irresponsible.
I am not silly.
I am not rebellious.
actually yes. Yes I am rebellious.
Damn my freshman year drawing professor for realizing that. declaring it.
and making me feel like I was sort of awesome because it was somehow working for me.
and making me feel like I was sort of awesome because it was somehow working for me.
and .
crap.
it can be hard being a rebel.
because even we like a little comfort and stability.
but .... crap. we are stubborn.
our hearts trump a lot of everything else.
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and by damn him (my professor) I mean. thank you for my cape.
Ive needed it.
