new post about being weird.

sometimes when I have a working title or a place holder. I think it would be funnier to leave it like that.


 in this case. I left my working title.

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I am completely aware that I am weird. 

I always have been. 

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Flashback


when I was a little tiny girl. I would always walk into Po'Folks ( restaurant's name was NOT changed to protect its identity. but it is now a car dealership) and I would acknowledge everyone in the booths we passed on the way to our table. sort of nod to them and smile.



I knew that as a small identical twin, I was odd. and people were actually studying and commenting. So I learned to think that odd. also meant neat.

I was something neat.

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I don't know. I feel like 38219312 things added up to turn me into who I am today.
But something cool is - from birth I was part of what my mom always called "A FREAK HAPPENING"....

that's how she refers to identical twins.

(identical twins don't run in families. fraternal twins do. identical twins are by chance.
this happened to my mom because as a child she bought two of every set of paper dolls and willed it upon herself. a very scientific method)

so. pretty awesome.

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I may or may not still be considered a freak happening.

I hope I am.


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carrying a lion head down the street.

I only realize things like this are strange when people walk by.

sometimes people are unscathed by the sight. arguably this reaction makes me more uncomfortable.

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I tried this new thing today.

I was literally walking at a 4.2 treadmill pace to stay away from someone in an orange apron...
       

                 ....you know those guys.

can i help you?

maam... do you need something?

As I thought about how to make what I was actually looking for sound less strange, I saw multiple orange aprons. in front of me. in my peripheral vision. I could sense them behind me too.

they think I'm looking for paint swatches I bet... so I'll just detract...

I'm just browsing.

to which they say in their heads... um why?

and so in my head I scream

MAYBE BECAUSE I WANT TO IMAGINE THAT I AM GOING TO REINSTALL PULLS ON EVERY DRAWER IN THE UNIVERSE.

or maybe I like dreaming about shelving. and flooring. and the possibility of building a deck or a treehouse or .. i dont know. an entire house.

and they are just staring at the screws in my hand and dying to tell me the difference between a phillips head and a flat head.

But.

I appreciate it.

and today. I stopped running fast walking and decided to try another tactic.

telling him what I was really there for.

I am looking at different ways to attach puppet arms.

silence.

it's a real job.

I literally said that. something inside me said to say that.
So dumb.

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I know he expected-

no. um. really... do you think emerald or sage would look better in the downstairs bathroom. I want to take a risk...





but he got me.

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