I find that I focus on a piece and suddenly feel so disjointed from it because it's not directly meshed up in my life. (get used to my own configuration of words.)
the raw and real qualities in the work that I cherish are because life affects my work. it IS my work.
It's my career- to make art. and as cliche as it is. art is everything. take one drawing class and start a sketchbook. get a good teacher. you'll see. if you get it... it will be like when French all of a sudden made sense and you could hear it without knowing exactly why. until it was written out and analyzed for you.
here is some of my work. that hasn't been shown. and that I'm not sure exactly how to show. or what to do with it. but i love it.
I battle with when and where and how to show these pictures. and what people will think of me. who dont realize that this is something beautiful and real... but I decided- if I just harbor these, they'll never get sunlight .
and really. I love the sun.
My dads favorite colors were oranges and yellows and such. mostly orange. but the same goes for him when it came to the sun.
We go to his grave a lot and by the standards of others, we probably disrespect the area... but - to us. it's the best way to respect my dads life.
I add glitter, tobasco bottles, and figurines...
We throw beach towels and eat subway on fathers day. and sweat in the sun until we all realize it's much too hot and we laugh at our loyalty to these charades.
and then, last summer. when it was turning to fall - we went ALL OUT with the orangey yellowness. I wore my yellow skirt.
and I jumped.
and my sister supported the idea. and my mom did too. even though as the mom, she had to say things like- "Abby stop, people are going to think we are crazy." and her speech was glittered with "yalls" and laughs.
and we stopped for a minute. when we realized I was squishing worms with my bare feet. and I freaked. and mom inspected them.
she loves nature. and she thinks creatures are fascinating. and then. I jumped again. and so did my sister. and the cars came in and out. and we toned it down a bit. for their sake. because it was their place too. but dad was rolling.
and this is the art of mourning. and celebrating.
Today I am wearing my favorite sweater with a bow on it. It screamsssss HELLO BEAUTIFUL WEATHER!
I'm in love with the sunshine.