September 29, 2011

forward is scary. it's comfortable stepping right and left. ask my 1st grade talent show partner.

 - NeedToBreathe. 
(new album, The Reckoning)


There was a face I made when I was little. In every photo. for a year. 

I like to think it was the start of my commitment to projects I believe in.

This face appears on the first day of school, Christmas time, etc. 


oh, little me, great shoes.

So, really not a lot has changed. 


Except I am now carrying papers that say things I don't entirely understand.

that's a huge step for me. I try to understand everything.

 I do know what this means.

It isn't so much that figuring things out is super difficult.

It's the responsibilities that come along with it that can be startling. 

And the realization when you are wearing a visitor's badge in the state taxation department...
um. I'm trying this.

But when I go step by step. I try and remember to celebrate the fact that I am moving forward. 

And not sideways.

Because it can get real comfortable just rocking right and left. 

Ask Erin, my 1st grade Talent Show partner. We did that to the ENTIRE Paul Simon song, 
Call Me Al. 

The teacher cut our song early and we were 

Because I did have an air guitar solo at the end. 

So don't worry. We were so confident it was good that we had her start the music over.

and went on rockin.


But it's going forward that feels really exciting. 
and you have to be going forward to be scared.

So bring on the goblins.


My dad said- courage isn't NOT being afraid. 

It's being afraid, and doing it anyway.

In the Spirit of Halloween, you are only scared when you are walking through the Haunted Woods. 

if you never go in.. you're not. 

not sure what the reason is for going in those woods in the first place. 
but metaphors aren't always perfect. 
this one is seasonal. 
so let's say there's cider at the other end.

I would run for cider.

I have a thing for cider.


I still can't believe myself sometimes though, like when I was in the zoning department, my friend was texting me from Nordstrom Rack. and I wished I was there so much more than in line at City Hall.

And I signed my name on some paper under owner.

(nervous laughter.)

And when I was walking back to meet with someone at the state tax department, a supervisor came out of his office and said- "do you mind if I come in and observe?"  

I said- "I wouldn't mind if everyone in here came in to observe. I'm serious."

At one point the lady said I can come back whenever I want and she will help me fill some forms out whenever I need it. 

I looked up and said - "thats kind." 
My eyes watered up.


WHAT? my life feels sort of weird right now. 
I have no explanations sometimes. I just write what actually happens. 

And, purely because I thought it was a sight to see. I snapped this at a stop sign.

That is an adult woman. going to work. or somewhere awesome. on boys bike. as in. look close. 

it is really a fantastic thing to see when you are feeling like things are complicated. 


They really aren't.

they're mostly amazing. if you look around. 
don't forget to go forward. 

and watch out for monsters. They're totally out there.

I've seen some. 

But remember. I have also seen some non-monsters too. 

like this sweet guy. who is working on his own post. 
I take no responsibility for whatever happens there.

September 24, 2011



I was running yesterday.

I figure if my mind is at full exhaustion, my body should be too, right?

but running for me is more than that. It is about pushing myself. chilling out. and focusing.

Before I was a runner, I was a non-runner. 
Duh. I know.
But I feel like when you are a non-runner, it is usually said with an adamant- NOOooooo thanks, 

Once, when my life seemed upside down.

When everything was scary, different, and out of my control, I knew one thing I could literally do was

just run.

So I did. 

The first time I ran, and I mean 


I crashed to the ground. my arms made a grass angel. and I smelled the air as hard as I could. 

Because if I could really feel that moment... I knew things weren't so different. 

And the only way to stop worrying about the future or tracing backwards 

is to be present.

So whatever it takes to get present.

You should do.


The secret no one tells you is that things spin out of control all the time. 

And just when your life looks peaceful and still. 

You realize the movie is over. and you have to file out of the theater. 


That's why I feel like it is our job to reach out when someone's life is spinning faster than ours.

When parts of my life spin, I have people that step in and they are perfectly in focus. 

like being in ballet class, but seeing your mom in the observation room. 

Oh. OK. I can do this.

and for the love!
 it's like seeing someone at the door with a casserole after a loved one dies.

the billions of people who show up.(thats what it feels like) and just stand there in focus. on the front porch.

that should be a freaking bumper sticker.

Or what about right now. 
I'm figuring things out. I'm a little overwhelmed. (understatement). I have been doing this 
art - full- time parade since January. 

I wake up wide-eyed and sometimes freaked. 

I'm sorry this picture KILLS ME. because I kept telling myself to stop drawing it. and I couldnt. ahahaa

but even strangers seem to say the right thing sometimes. 

if you listen.

BUT OH WOW are there a lot of people who have ideas.

And bless their hearts everyone is trying to help, But ideas are like snowballs.
Everybody has a stash and
they will keep chucking them at you and you have to dodge the ones you want to dodge.

Because sometimes people say things that paralyze you.

You think. Uh.What?... I need to what? I need to have what sort of paper? or qualification? or number?

And if it makes you slow down...or feel like theres no way you can move forward.

just duck and run.

And I will admit though, I have been hit by great ideas.

and wonderfully helpful people. Go team. I seriously appreciate.

And I hope everyone keeps throwing things at me.
Because I know it means they care.

The best idea I ever got came Day 1 after I quit my office job.

And I looked around at my sewing machine, and glue gun, and paint, and creatures... and totally froze.

I called my friend. had a minor melt down.
and she said:




So I did.


And when I start to freeze under pressure, I look at my to do list. and I add MAKE ART to it.


for sanity. and because LIFE IS SUPPOSED TO BE AWESOME.

I add WANTS.

 you need to start adding WANTS to your to-do list. 

because sometimes they are actually NEEDS. and you don't realize it until you are visited by the Ghost of Christmas Past. 

Im telling you, your list will always be there.
So start filling in some wants.
I do this on purpose because otherwise none of the important stuff would get done.
The stuff that makes you the happiest.


I inherited my Great Aunt's dining room table.
Oh Happy Day.

I LOVE that it was hers. and I LOVE having a piece of her in my house.

Lolly was an artist too and would be glad I love these chairs.


I cannot stop looking at them in real life.

Cannot. Stop.

So, these were the chairs as I knew them in Lolly's dining room.


And now, all dressed up...
Look at them go.

Once there was a contest I entered in Brooklyn. 

They said- Make a squirrel out of soft material. And win fabric from The Brooklyn General Store

It was like winning the lottery. 

I want this one. and this one. and this one. and this one. and this one. That's all I kept saying. 
The pink and red print ( which I'm obsessed with) and the white with yellow and orange flowers are both from that place. The others are from Hancock Fabrics. and truthfully. 
When you go there prepared to hunt. 
You leave with some beautiful things. 

Fabric stores are toxic. I can only go in with a gift card :)

 If this was a waiting room. I'd totally wait.

If I had a dime every time someone said.

"Ha. I don't have the time to do that."
I would take those dimes to the Coinstar Machine. 

Then I would respond like I always do-

I don't have the time either.




September 22, 2011

Find Superman.

sometimes inspiration is beside you. so look left.

I found something at the beach.


See Superman

really look at his face. he's awesome.

he has ideas.

and he's sharing them.

this real life scene is all Lord of the Flies-esque

all while he has so much to do. 


gone in a flash.

his work here is done.


I'm totally looking for Superman.

and the secret is... I actually know like 1,000.

September 20, 2011

Sometimes you have to stare at the ceiling. from the floor. on your back. and cry a little bit.


this is how I roll normally. totally doing my thing.


(Enter villain. Real world enters, stage left, and rains on the parade.)


ew. I was slightly defeated. 

Or actually if I am being totally honest. 

I was all the way defeated. 


making sure I am doing business correctly and figuring out how to do it all.
despite majorly confusing websites. and forms. and advice. and costs.

when crawling into a job I don't love so much looks semi-inviting right about now.


And I had a genuine thought that I should go spray paint a billboard- 


(maybe have a picture of a 10 for $10 Chef Boyardee can on it.)

Tell people everywhere to pursue a career with a more specific title than



That was today. 

That was today.
But that's not tomorrow.

Tomorrow I am marching down to city hall. 


And I think for kicks I'm going to wear my business face. and walk my business walk. 
and I am going to find someone who can answer some of my I-dont-know-what-im-doing questions.

See I find myself paralyzed by things I don't know how to do. 
And when I called around for help today I just ran into a lot of 

honey, they shouldn't have sent you heres. 

yes plural.

And I know that I am not alone in any of this. 
It isn't just art, it's whatever you choose to do that's new/overwhelming.
I get that.


And with art (and I use art as an all encompassing word.)

I am part of this community of believers that are working at scuba shops. cafes. and retail stores in order to pursue a passion. 

Some are in the cube beside you hiding behind their Diet Cokes and Excel Spreadsheets.

There's something really beautiful about connecting with each other. Something awesome about saying ME TOOOOOO. 

So if thats you, Hi. Hi. Hi.

Once, I worked in a restaurant dining room (a restaurant behind a castle in one of the most magical places on earth.. get it? yeah. I did) where a mom told her daughter to 
"ask the trash lady which way the bathroom is."

and you know what I did?  I told her where it was. But also asked if her baby doll needed a high chair so that she could eat and apologized that no one had gotten one for her yet. her eyes were wide. she was silent. and just shook her head yes.



So, my friend is an artist. (lots are. go team.) 
and we share stories of 

making it work.

(thanks Tim Gunn for the brilliant battle cry.)

like we both use hotel shampoo. use toothpaste on zits. and may or may not grab an extra creamer at Chik-Fil-A.. you know for later.

and she just told me that when she ran out of her foundation and couldn't afford another for a while, she started crushing some powder she had and mixing it each morning with lotion to make her own. 

That's crazy. 

But we were mad/ cracking up.

Are we martyrs?  NO. heck no. 

It's dumb. It's part of it. 

We're just doing what we think we should be doing. 

And, cliche or not, struggle only connects people. 
makes you work harder. 
makes victory sweeter. 

and like listening to someone talk smack from the other dugout...
 it only makes the other team look stupid. 

It won't always be like this. 

And I know that 
because I'm telling you. 

tomorrow will be different. 


and this post was going to be about reupholstering dining room chairs!
it will be next though. because. THEY.ARE.GORGEOUS.
and when I was feeling pressured to do other things, designing those chairs was what I needed to do.
and it brightened my home. which is of serious importance.

life's short. do what you have to.

September 18, 2011


in the words of OutKast, 





sometimes that can be stressful. 

sometimes that can be exciting. 

sometimes that can feel so normal and borefest, USA. 

(Spellcheck tells me borefest isnt correct. lame)

So. Here's an early week treat.

2 originals are living with me. and I want them to be yours. 

They are looking for their forever home. 

And while parting with anything makes me sad. 

Here are two original pieces. 

Ink. Thread. and Fabric.

15" x 22.5"



Here's a secret. 

If you say Riding Bareback Beside a Train in your email to me, 
you can scratch 10.00 off the price. and buy a latte with it. 

no seriously. 
Buy a Salted Caramel Mocha from Starbucks.


(But I cut back on the pumps of syrups. minor detail. but you will understand when you get to the quicksand at the bottom if you dont listen to me on that)

and it is Monday. 

You need it.


but email me first -

and ask for the original of one of these magic creatures. 

(another SECRET- you can have a print if you email me and the original is sold.  
The prints are perfectly produced by a great company and look just like the original. )

So, with the magic words - SEE ABOVE if you forgot- 

YOU, dear reader, can have 

an original for $300.00

or a print for $170.00


1 -2 -3 break.


September 17, 2011

September 16, 2011

My friends are sweet.

I got an email this morning. 

My friend was commuting to work. and saw my veryfavoritecrazyridiculousbrilliant artist is having a show. 

She tore out the page on the train. 

and scanned it to me. 

I am going. Duh. 

I am freaking out. 

I love him. 

and her effort is so appreciated. 

Thanks Kristin.


I posted this because you too should go. He is amazing. smart. and hilarious. 

He's doing it.

Happy Friday. Think of someone. 
It usually/always makes their day.

September 14, 2011

once upon a time



also. because it still kills me. I have to re-post a graph I made after quitting my day job in December. 

it still has accurate stats. 

Some days are freeing and some are more about figuring out HOW to do this. 
Believe it or not. I spend more time calculating and organizing than drawing or building. 

Im figuring it out. 

Who isn't?....

(are people still saying that these days?... that just came out of my brain. so there you have it) 

September 12, 2011

If this stops you in your tracks.

Um, Hi. 


I look at this and see puppet-insides.

Is there a need to reiterate my level of coolness?

It's ok. I took a deep breath. and said. 

not today. 

not today. 


But seriously. 3 things:

It looks like a potential parade of amazing puppets. 
I was caught off guard. 
I love my life. 

even if on every Monday I am sharply reminded:

The leap I took was a serious risk. 

So I walk to the coffee shop. hunt for good music. 

and trek on.


"Tell me why I should 

So take your shots

I wont turn back."

~ Need To Breathe




i love music. almost more than everything.