December 29, 2011

sometimes being sad is very very close to being - happy.

There are moments in life that force you to be completely aware.
And I think many of them happen when irony is unavoidable. 

 when two "not-supposed-to-happen-at-the-same-time moments"
in the same piece of time.


Like leaving a birthday party with a piece of cake.

but eating it on the way to visit a friend.

who is dying.


That's a kind of moment

that stops you.

I worked with Martha for a while.

We were a generation apart, but we were friends for 800 reasons.

Like our shared love of reality TV, craft fairs, and seasonal chocolates stuck on the end of pretzel sticks.

(Ok. she made those.)

usually the chocolates were monster fingers.

and we would dial the phone with them.


See why I needed her at the office.


But she got sick.



her gifts were always meaningful.

like sewing pins. with hearts on them.
because I love to sew.


And she was one of those people who saved a comic from the paper when it applied to you. 

I think that sort of person is one of the kindest in the world. 

because even though they just woke up. brewed their coffee. and poured milk on their cereal.

they aren't worried it will get soggy... they stop and get out some scissors and cut the comic out.

and then tape it to your cube secretly.

She was one of those. 


Martha kicked me out of the office.

well...she pushed me out forcefully.

with a big white vase of purple flowers.

But before she succeeded in getting rid of me.
She would see something I was working on and say -
you need to be making art. Go do it.
Get out of here.
Go for it.


As she got sicker.

I visited with her...

and I had visions of her dying with a beautiful giant blanket I made. With all of her favorite things on it.  

But sometimes. you have no control. 

Scratch that. 

All the time. you have no control.

(I am finding this out. constantly.)

and all you can do is be there for someone.

And I am very thankful that I was called that day.
and left that birthday party with a piece of cake.
to go see her.

because birthdays are blessings.

and so are friends.

and even though it seems super sad.

and like a super horrible irony.

I am confident that sad... is the closest thing to happy.

Because I have yet to feel sad
without an attachment to some sort of happy.

I was blessed to be friends with Martha. still am.

lucky me.

and to be there with someone you care about. two hours before they die.

That is a big life moment.


and I am interested in big life moments.


 So thank you Martha. For your streamers. and your jazzy wardrobe bling. and for asking me every day if I saw Dancing With The Stars last night. Because even though I was stressed and sleep deprived, you never stopped being good to me. never stopped being interested. and never stopped telling me -

Get out of here.

You need to be making art.


From the beginning you said to me
"I'm taking this whole thing as a challenge."

You did.

Your strength and grace are examples that I will never forget.


I will also never forget your love for Adam Lambert. 
And the fact that you not only went to his concert and stood the entire time. 

you wore black skinny jeans. boots. and bought the tour shirt.
Girl, his voice is butter and I will continue to preach on for the both of us!


Consider this a giant hug.

December 14, 2011

I see lights.


I'm living off sugar. 

 I would say- I wish people would stop making Holiday treats... but see. I don't want them to stop. 
I just wish I had more self control. or maybe less excuses for why it is ok to have 5 cookies. 
in one sitting.
more than once a day.

I just end up seeing this all day


The holiday season is both a massive love of mine and a huge art project. 

The snowflakes are back. and swooping down the hall. 
Although in haste last year I tossed them in a box. 
The tangled mess was so wild that only a few survived. 

 No worries though. Rhonda the cardboard angel is back. and at the top of the tree. 

I made her when I lived in Disney World and wasn't able to travel to family for Christmas that year. 

She is not surprisingly durable.  
(I am the biggest supporter of cardboard.. ask my friends who ran a 10K in cardboard kayaks.)

get it girl.


Speaking of living in Disney World...

Did I ever tell you about the time I lived in that small New England Snow Village?

down the street from that doll shop.

and my friend bought that wreath from the lady that looked a lot like Mrs. Claus.

yeah. ok. i know.


Sometimes I save little Christmas Cards that I get or even buy. 

because they make great focal points for holiday displays.

And. Yeah.. I add glitter to them.

unless they already come with bling.

small flower on his head. come on.


And I feel the need to share this happening on the tree. 
(excuse the blur. but this is an unexpected gem of a picture)

to confirm what I already believed to be true. 

Angels go to Cracker Barrel. 

Want to see something else that will make you happy?

I found this dancing guy at a race I did in Chicago.

He is the best race watcher out there. 

and yes. everyone in the race was dressed as a Santa Claus. 

Watch. this. guy.

He is going places because he is already above and beyond.




I have been working on a lot of orders this month because it is the gift giving season. 

Does that make my house the North Pole?

Honestly. It probably is. It is freezing in my room normally. But even more so now that the light display cord runs through the window in my room. and it cannot be fully shut. 



I get a little into packaging things up.

and after drawing that last rabbit I realize I want that tree sign in real life. so I will probably make it.


I wish I could afford to mail everything I wanted to everyone I wanted. 

But is it wrong to want to hug the mail guy when he tells me something is cheaper than I thought it would be? 

When am I going to stop being obsessed with everyone who is nice to me? 

probably never.


PEOPLE: It has almost been a year that I made the leap to full time art. 
and on the anniversary post I will do some mad thank yous. 

right before the leap.

Last Christmas- I was scared to death at the idea of trying this whole thing out without a net.


This Christmas- I am still scared. ha!


December 7, 2011

love first. work later.

Unedited fact: I have been neglecting my blog because I am obsessed with my nephew. 

Point blank. 

I have no other excuse. 

I am visiting with family and brought a lot of art to work on.

I cannot accomplish a thing.


Cheers to now. being now.

and later. being later.

best creature ever. 


And. this is why I make art.

December 4, 2011

This is my battle cry.


yours too?


i love music. almost more than everything.